The other parent doesn’t know how to look after the children. What can I do?

It is not unusual that during a relationship, one parent has more experience with the children’s day-to-day necessities and routines. This can happen if one parent has spent a lot of time away from the family, works long hours, or has not had an active role with the children. It can be concerning if you find yourself in a situation where the other parent has time with the children, but you are not confident that they know what the children need.

The central issue to consider is what is in the best interests of the children. The law lays out that this includes a meaningful relationship with both parents, unless this will undermine the welfare of the children. If there is any firm reason why a parent is not suitable for caring for children, we need to know. That might include any risk of abuse or neglect, inappropriate use of drugs and alcohol around the children, or not having access to a suitable place for the children to play or sleep.

Sometimes, parents know that the other parent is safe, but may not know about the routines, diets or general habits of the children. In this case, it is best to think of what will happen in the long term. Building the other parent’s capacity can have a positive effect on the children's relationship with them, which will be lifelong. If one parent doesn’t know these things, through mediation, we can communicate, teach and learn about what works for the children.

There are many things worth considering: What are they used to? What do they like and dislike? When is their bedtime? Are there any special routines that help children settle when they are upset?

Sharing this information with the other parent can help give children consistency between homes and through changeovers, helping them to adjust to new situations.

If you would like any further information on how mediation can work in your own circumstances, please do not hesitate to call our office for a free fifteen minute consultation.