Five Ways to Prepare Emotionally for Mediation

Mediation is a process of negotiation. It relies on there being some give-and-take between parents. This can be difficult: there is usually a substantial history of hurt between the parents. Sometimes there is very little trust left. Our role is to help parents focus on their care for their children rather than their issues with each other.

Here are five ways we recommend that you can prepare yourself emotionally for mediation:

1. Focus on the children. Although there may be tension with the other parent, it is not about them: it is about making arrangements that are best for the children. 

2. Know what you would like to achieve. Any agreements you make in mediation are voluntary, and knowing what you are willing to negotiate on will help you stay focussed.

3. Know what you don’t want to talk about. Anything addressed in mediation must be agreed on by both parents. If they bring up something that you do not want to discuss, you can choose to talk about something else instead.

4. Take breaks. Breaks are a great tool to gather your thoughts and emotions. You can take them any time you like. You can request to stay in a separate space if you no longer want to speak to the other parent directly (we call this a shuttle process, where the mediator will speak for you).

5. Bring a cup of tea. Mediation is not Court: you can have small comforts that help you make good decisions.

If you would like to know more about mediation, please contact our office for a free fifteen minute phone consultation.