Five Tips for Coparenting in the New Year
Working together while there is unsettled conflict is difficult. It is not worth pretending that it is easy. Here are five tips that can help with moving forward with a new start for the new year.
Keep things focussed on the children. Most parents go wrong when they let the personal issues between them bleed into how they make arrangements for the children. One way to keep discussion on track is to focus on what the children need in the future and where possible, to leave the past in the past.
Keep within the boundaries of any court orders. These can include parenting orders, intervention orders, violence orders or any others. If you are unsure about any part of them, get independent legal advice. Breaching orders may be criminal, and is likely to hurt your position in negotiating with the other parent.
Use technology where it is helpful. Whether this means having video chats with the kids on the days you don’t see them, or using an app to coordinate with the other parent, there are many ways in which technology can make coparenting a smoother process.
Relax and take a deep breath before responding. So many avoidable problems are caused when we get worked up when we should walk away. Rather than saying or doing something regrettable, walk away. Come back the next day. Think about responding in writing rather than verbally. Write your email, then leave it overnight so you may consider whether it will cause more problems than it will resolve.
Come to mediation. Having someone else ground discussions can be extremely helpful for most parents. Our mediators are trained to recognise power imbalances and manage the process so that everyone feels heard. It is essential that everyone feels free to agree or disagree with things according to whether they are suitable.
If you would like any further information on how mediation can work for your children, please contact our office for a free fifteen minute phone consultation.
