Breastfeeding and Co-Parenting

Parenting is never easy, and it can become more complex following a separation. In any arrangements that are made after a separation, the developmental needs of any of the children involved must be taken into account.

It is common for parents to want a 50/50 share of their children’s time, but this may not always fit with their developmental needs. While parents have equal shared parental responsibility for their children, this does not necessarily translate to an equal amount of their time. The focus of mediation is on making arrangements that will be optimal for the children’s development, which includes minimising any stress and distress they will feel. While a child is breastfeeding is a good example of this.

A breastfeeding child may be happy to have formula and spend time away from their mother. It is possible that such arrangements can be made. Yet the primary concern should be what the child needs: if they will become distressed by such a change, it may not be in their best interests. It may be relevant whether they are exclusively breastfed or whether they also have formula or food. For instance, if they mostly eat solid food but are breastfeeding once a day, then they may be more comfortable spending hours away from the mother than if they were exclusively breastfed.

It is difficult to gauge what is best for children, particularly when the parents have a high conflict relationship. What is optimal but not always possible is for the parents to have frank and open discussions about what the child is used to and what changes can be made in the future. A breastfeeding child will not always be breastfeeding, and arrangements will change along with their age, maturity and capacity for change.

If you would like any information on how mediation can work in your circumstances, please contact our office for a free fifteen minute phone consultation.